Once upon a time, in the land of singlehood, I had very good intentions, ideals, and patterns that I would follow for my baby to be.
Time outs and no spanking. (works really well..must apply consistently)
I'll try to make home made baby food. (that lasted a month)
Consistent, early bedtime. (Consistent, yes. Early, no)
One of the things that I thought was really goofy was co-sleeping and the family bed. Co-sleeping seems to be a fine thing while you are nursing, but the whole idea of sleeping with your family for years on end is bizarre to me.
My opinion is co-sleeping with your kids will affect your marriage and relationship. I remember reading a board about co-sleeping when I was pregnant with Ian. The advocates were saying you find "other places" in the house to have sex with your husband. First, when would you have the time if not at night if you have kids? Second, where? The bathroom? Great, I want to be sitting on the toilet going at it with my husband. Tres romantic.
Fast forward three years....I wake up every morning with my husband and my son and daughter tucked between us. What gives?
Well, not every morning. Usually, one of them, though. I know it means we're lazy because we don't get up and walk him back to bed. (or put her back in crib) However, sometimes sleep is necessary.
Funny how the parental expectations we set for ourselves will change, relax or become consistently more important.
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9 comments:
Agreed. That's why those books one might read to prepare are fairly worthless. There's theory and then there's reality.
I too, was a much "better" parent before I had kids...
Our boys were in and out of our bed for years... we were to damn tired/lazy to put them back in their own.
I thought Eva, after a year of co-sleeping with her foster mother would end up in our bed as well, but that child couldn't and can't get enough of her crib. She is all about the stretching out and the space!
Whenever I have "visitors" during the night, it totally depends on how tired (lazy) I am feeling whether they get put back to bed or not. Eh, it's just a phase, I don't imagine any of my children doing this when, let's say, they're 18!?
L is our bed about 80% of the time. It doesn't really bother me. Yes, I am too lazy to take her back upstairs! I figure it won't last forever. As for finding other places to be with my husband, may not be romantic - but it sure is fun!!! ;-)
It's reassuring to know I am not alone with the kids in bed issue:)
Ok, I don't have any wisdom on the co-sleeping issue (we only have cats and they're not allowed to co-sleep with us because the fat orange tabby snores like a truck driver), but I did want to call attention to your sentence "sitting on the toilet going at it with my husband"!!!!! I shrieked with laughter when I read that. You just crack me up.
Ok, SO i used to be critical of people who co-slept. And at the time our DOG used to sleep under the covers with us! Who were we to be critical??? Luckily, our kids are only in bed with us when they are sick, they seem to prefer their own beds...I think whatever works for your family. I personally can barely sleep in our king sized bed with my husband...I wish HE would get his own...
Lisa
Hey Jen check out my family bed on my blog. WE have 3 kids who go to sleep in one bed everynight.
I LOVED THIS POST - so glad to see how human parents are - and I'm less scared now about my own abilities when Miss Ruby arrives :)
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