Maybe You Have A Normal Family?

We are back from San Diego. Got up at 5AM this morning to catch a flight with the family, so I am not feeling too sharp this morning. The weekend didn't go so well because Isabel got an intestinal bug, Ian got a skin infection for which we had to take him to an urgent care for antibiotics, but primarily it goes a bit deeper.

As I said previously, we go down annually to get our taxes done, but we always turn this into a long weekend trip to see Bryan's family. I don't know if Bryan's family thinks we all fly down and stay four nights just for kicks (since we're not doing touristy things), but it costs money to fly the family down and stay in a hotel (no one has the room to put us all up)and rent a car. It's also not a vacation. I mean, I like seeing family, but if I'm spending money on hotels, I prefer to do it on vacations.

I don't know, I think his sister and mother are glad to see us and enjoy and love Ian and Isabel. Maybe this is more a rant about his brother, Brent, and sister in law. We are down there only a few times a year, and they barely make an effort to spend much time with us. We have this weekend planned out for months. I know it has everything to do with his sister in law, Jenny, but I don't understand why. Barbara (Bryan's sister) has dinner planned at 6:30, and Brent and Jenny walk in the door at 7:30. Talk about being excited to see us. Maybe we wouldn't take it so personally if it wasn't such a consistent pattern. It happens most times we're in town. They leave precisely at 9:00. They have a son, Jack, who is young (1st grade), so yes, he needs to get to bed, but come on....I'm hurt, I'm hurt for Bryan, I'm hurt for my kids who won't really ever know their relatives or cousin.

Why she dislikes me, which I am assuming is the case, since Bryan never had the issue before me and the children, I don't know. I want to be involved with the families and know my nephew. Right before they left that evening, she said how she had so much to do the next day, basically implying that the family was unavailable to do anything. I managed to state that I thought it would be fun if Ian could spend some time with his cousin and us at the science museum...and oh, she didn't have to go if she didn't want. Then I invited Brent along. HeHeHe. She was probably pissed because I got her husband involved, too. So, we all went together as a family the next day without her...but it still ticks me off because there is tension there, and obviously, it effects the relationship as a family.

They never come visit us. They never acknowledged Isabel's birth. They didn't buy us Christmas presents. (which isn't a big deal, in and of itself, but they bought gifts for everyone in the family except us...they bought for the kids, but not us when we bought for the whole family just like we do every year. Just weird)

And of course, they never asked about the adoption. Not like I expected any interest in that. I guess I am trying to figure out where all my anger and hurt is coming from because I don't have anything close to strong bonds to my siblings. I love my sister and brother, but they aren't reaching out and asking me about it, either. I never had a terribly close relationship with them, so I guess I had hoped when I married Bryan, I might be able to foster closer relationships with his family. I feel somehow slighted possibly? I don't know what I pictured, but I guess it wasn't this.

Ironically, when it comes to the adoption and many other things, I feel like this online community in many ways has become my family. I feel so little love and support from the ones who supposedly care.

In families lie conundrums.