I know that there are so many out there who are lamenting this extended wait on their children...a wait that seems endless and unknown because the CCAA isn't making known their reasons for why this has happened or if it will change. I read the hopelessness, especially in the blogs of those who have no children. My words will make no difference to you if you are in that much despair, but for those of you who have some hope...hang on.
Crude analogy ahead.
In 2001, I was in the best shape of my life. I ran my first marathon--The Rock and Roll in San Diego. I doubt I'll get in that kind of running shape again. So, on June 2, my training partner and I got up bright and early and ran the race together...we were psyched! 26.2 miles and nothing would stop us. When we got to mile 20, there was a woman ahead of us in BRIGHT YELLOW shorts and a jog bra. She must have bought those shorts especially for the marathon. If you are not familiar with mile 20, it is also infamously known as "The Wall" where a lot of runners poop out in a marathon. Well, when I glanced down at Ms. Yellow Shorts, it (ahem!) appeared that her monthly visitor had arrived. By the bucketful. All over her backside. Oh. My. God. (And filled with endorphins that we were, we became giggling fools....it actually helped us run better!)
But then...what do we do? Do we tell her? What is the point? What can she do? I hope to God no one told her and she got to finish the race she trained so hard for. You train for months for this. It already was embarassing for her, and she made it so far. If someone told her, she might just veer off course and not finish. I really don't know if she did or not.
My point is sometimes life can deal you some crappy hands when you have worked really hard to fulfill a goal. Working towards a family is a goal that many of us have, and when it isn't coming to fruition in the proper time frame....many of us our veering the course. And by veering the course, I mean becoming too overly negative. Oh, and I am the last person that will blow sunshine up your ass all the time, but I do believe that wallowing in negativity does hurt you in the long run. Sadness and longing is alright every once in awhile, but focus on your long term family goals. Your child will be here in the distant future.
Stay the course.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
Awesome post! Sucks for the poor yellow shorts gal - bet you she never forgot that race.
Amen, sister!
That's a great post! Very reflective! :-)
Ay yi yi...! Poor gal. I hope she finished. And I hope this helped some waiting peeps. It helped me and the only thing I'm waiting on at this point is for the @#!$% social worker to call and schedule the first home visit already...!
Great post - truthful and direct!
As a family that has BTDT....I have to say that your post is totally right...Keep your eye on the prize and remember that all the work during the paperchase and the long wait will all vanish the min you see that little darling.
for the lady ion the yellow shorts..WOW I woud die.
And it will happen!!! We leave for China tomorrow after 17 months of waiting. There were so many days when I wondered if this was never going to be. Tomorrow we board a plane for Beijing. We are living proof that it will happen...delay or no delay!
Thanks Jen, Just what us "waiters" need!
Well said! Thank You!
Love the visual - and who hasn't received their period at an inopportune time? Granted, not on mile 20, but still!
Very well said, and good reminder to us all. Yes, sadly, I'm not getting any younger, but we know that Ruby WILL be in out homes, not only our hearts, soon so that we can be a family (we are one of the childless families you wrote about). In the meantime, I am making my OWN life count - spending time with my hubby, friends, and family...trying new hobbies...travel...reading...laughing. The wait will be over before you know it!
Great advise.... I'm a true believer in try to keep out of the rumor mill and keep my head in the sand....
Lisa
Post a Comment