What My Son REALLY Thinks Of Us

If you remember Ian's special potty, you're in for a treat, because I thought I'd share with you the joy we've all been experiencing here for the last week as he has decided to move his bowels on the potty as well. Not that I want to gross you out, but, well, we're friends now, right? And well, I thought, as long as you were sitting around enjoying yourself this evening wondering, "Is there more to life?", I thought I would kindly remind you that you don't have a small child telling you every five minutes that he wants to GO POTTY AGAIN.

CAUTION..GROSS POOPY TALK AHEAD...

And so, such is my life. When you have a tot in diapers, you naively imagine a life without diapers, and when that day arrives, you fondly look back upon those days because nobody told you that there was a LONG TRANSITION PERIOD WHERE YOUR CHILD LOVES THE POTTY MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. When I bring my son home from preschool, (because he only defecates in familiar territory) we go to the potty. And with each poop, he must inspect it and flush it. And we might count them if more than one "gets by". I will find myself making statements that I have made to no other person in my life such as, "Oh, that sounds like a good one," which make him grin with pride. When it's all over, (again..something I WOULD NEVER do for another human being other than MY child) we take turns wiping him and um, "comparing specimens". Not my idea..his. Disgusting, I know. Just getting you prepared. Nobody prepared me.

Actually, in some ways, it cracks me up that I find myself sitting on the floor of my bathroom saying and doing the things I'm doing. You think about the people that really love you then...and you say to yourself..yep..I would only do this stuff with the people I really loved. You think back to some guy you dated "back when" who was handsome and maybe fun, but could you really imagine doing THIS with him? True husband material is hard to find.

And then, fifteen minutes later..Ian yells...Try Potty Again, Again!! Like going to the bathroom is a pony ride or a trip to the zoo.

This morning, Ian was drawing in the backseat of the car with one of those magnetic boards. He is perfecting stick figures. He gets his artistic talent from me. Anyway, he had four drawn, actually really well. And he was going over them like he always does...with our names..He said..Daddy, Mommy, Ian, Isabel...then he starts to draw a big blob of scribbly line on the right hand corner. He said, POOPY! Great, just what I need(excuse my language)..a big pile of shit next to our family.