Boy, oh Boy....

Beginning last week, Pomegranate began some posts about "What if" you were referred a boy when (obviously) most of us have been expecting female referrals? You can go over and read if you'd like, as some of the post is speculative and not based on any first hand knowledge. It was interesting, though, as the general gist of the posting was there have been quite a few boy referrals as of late, and would you accept the referral of a boy?

Interesting.

I was reading an article this weekend in Adoptive Families Magazine about how in domestic (US) adoptions it is discouraged to list a gender preference because the birthmother will pretty much look over you as prospective parents. She will think that if something happens, for example, and she gives birth to the opposite sex, you will reject her baby. It will not be good enough for you. Parents who have a distinct gender preference are told to look international, as they can put in for a preference there.

Interesting.

It got me thinking about my adoption journey, as we started this process indicating a female child. Sisters, girls, daughters....I want to have girls in my family to keep my family close. That's my rationale. I'm afraid someday my family won't be close. It's the daughters who stay close to their mothers, after all.

There's always a reason for the gender preference. But you never know. You never know what will happen in the future! You don't know who that child will be. You may have dreams for your female child and find out you cannot live vicariously through them. You may think you don't have the capacity to understand the opposite gender and find out that they warm your heart like you never have known.

When I saw the number of people who said that they would turn down a male referral, I was very surprised. These are the people who are waiting for a child, the people who write heartwrenching posts after heartwrenching posts about wanting to hold that baby.....said no to that baby...said they would continue to wait....all because of his gender. Interesting. There are no guarantees in life.

Food for thought:

Four years ago, and it's my first pregnancy. I was twenty weeks and due for my ultrasound. I wanted a girl more than ANYTHING. I had dreamed about having a girl all life. I met my husband at the doctor. When the technician pronounced, "There's the penis!" I almost started crying. I pretty much was crushed. I remember leaving, driving back to work and crying in my office. Isn't ultrasound day supposed to be a happy day?

Ian is the love of my love. I wouldn't change a thing. What a wonderful child...what a wonderful boy! I was so blessed at that moment and didn't know it.

Things happen for a reason.