Message from Jen: I recently joined a blog exchange group. At the first of every month, I will have a guest post from someone in the group based on a randomly selected topic that we all had to write about. Please read this then connect on the links on the bottom to read everyone else's interpretation of this month's theme: Mother May I. The following is the guest post by Nancy:
When I googled the term "Mother may I" in search of some inspiration for this month's blog exchange topic, I happened across this little poem and knew I'd found my theme:
"Mother, may I go out to swim?"
"Yes, my darling daughter.
Fold your clothes up neat and trim,
But don't go near the water."
This poem, to me, describes one of the true realities of parenthood: the give-and-take involved in letting your child discover new things while keeping them safe from harm. If you read parenting books for perspective on this issue, the advice seems so straightforward: if you want your child to learn, you must give them room to make mistakes. In reality, however -- it's not that simple. Just as children are complex individuals with personalities and emotions, so are parents!
When your child is born, you do all you can to nurture and protect them from anything hurtful or harmful. With that mindset, it is tough to do an about-face and let your child have more independence as he or she grows. Sometimes it goes against every instinct you have to let them leave your arms and your watchful gaze, but you know it's ultimately for the best.
I am reminded of this every summer as I attend swimming classes with my older daughter, Mimi. Because I never learned to swim properly as a child, I am anxious and uncomfortable in the water. So when the instructor asks the parents to let the kids float on their own, it's a leap of faith for me -- my protective instinct kicks in and I don't want to let Mimi go. But I hold my breath and remove my hands, and reassure my anxious daughter that she'll be just fine. (All the while trying to calm my own nerves.)
In just a few seconds it's over, and we've all survived. Mimi's beaming from ear to ear: "Mommy, I did it!" Next time she'll be a little less scared, and soon she'll be navigating the pool without any assistance.
In just a few short years, she'll be doing even more new things without Mom's help -- heading off to her first day of school, attending her first sleepover, fending off bullies in the playground. There will be times when she'll be successful, and other times when she'll get hurt, but she will learn from it all. I will have to resist the urge to walk hand-in-hand with her, to shield her from possible hurts. I will have to let her go and learn on her own, and pray that she will come back to me when she needs comfort and healing.
I'm practicing this already. When she asks, "Mother, may I?" I will take a deep breath and respond: "Yes, you may." And watch her go.
-- Nancy is a super secret government spy and mom of 2 girls who lives outside of Washington, DC. She makes her blog home at Mom Ma'am Me ( http://mommaamme.typepad.com/).
These posts are part of our May Blog Exchange on the theme Mother May I. Click around to read some of the other posts: Nancy, Vicki, Julie, Chase, Stacy, Christina, Jen, Mabel, TB, Mel, Izzy, Mayberry Mom, Amy, and Laurie. If you’d like to participate in the June Exchange, please email Kristen at kmei26 at yahoo.com. Enjoy!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
I think this is every mom's struggle - knowing when to let go and when to hold on tight. I just hope that I have the strength to watch from the sidelines. No one wants their child to get hurt, but you can't protect them from everything. Sucks!
Great example, Nancy - I think it is significantly harder to let our children try new things that scare the daylights out of us ourselves.
That was lovely, Nancy. As usual, you have expressed with eloquence many of the thoughts that run through my head. I'm so glad to know people like you and the rest of the blog exchange participants -mothers who are also real women, who can help me hone my parenting skills when the time comes.
The hard part is knowing when to let go..I'm going to have such a difficult time with that.
Thanks for posting on my blog.
I dread the letting go... But I know it's good and right. But sooooo hard. Thanks Nancy!
My answer? No, you may not grow up! No, no, no. I won't allow it.
I will have to resist the urge to walk hand-in-hand with her, to shield her from possible hurts.
This line made me tear up a little. It is, to me, one of the hardest things I've had to do (in terms of parenting). If only we could take all their knocks and hurts for them...
This was wonderful. Anything that kicks my cry reflex into gear usually is...lol
Echoing tb's sentiments: Once again, I am thankful to have "met" such a wonderful group of blogging moms so I know what my life *might* be like when J and I have children in a few years. Thank you, Nancy, for sharing! :)
Post a Comment